Are You Really Happy?

What Would Your “Internal Self Tell You?

I rarely read my horoscope, but about a month ago, I was scanning the news on Yahoo, and my daily horoscope caught my eye.  It said that I needed to “Connect with my Internal Spiritual Self to find happiness”.  I consider myself to be a happy, upbeat person.  And, I don’t believe in horoscopes. So, my first thought was that it meant my spiritual self, as in religion.  But, I became intrigued with what this meant and realized that it went deeper than surface happiness. It was referring to self-reflection about my authentic self – who I really am and value in life.  So, I started thinking about me at my best, true happiness, and exploring if I am living my values, beliefs, and achieving my personal and professional goals. 

I share this with you because when I ask people if they are happy, they almost always say, “Yes, I am happy.”  And, then they start telling me what they are happy about – family, nice house, making lots of money, vacation, new job, etc.  I then respond, “So everything in your life is great?  You don’t have anything in your life that causes you to be unhappy?”  There is always a pause, and then I hear things like, “Well, sure – the job is becoming more stressful, I don’t have any friends because I am too busy, I am working too many hours, the kids are in sports events that take up my entire weekend, or, I don’t have the time to do the things that I want to do.”

Your internal self is about what makes you personally happy, who you are, who you aspire to be, your goals, priorities, and self-created stressors that get in the way if you let them.  Most people want to be happy and tell themselves they are happy until something or someone causes them to self-reflect.  Sometimes, this is the death of a loved one who died too soon, a health issue, a new job that does not provide the job satisfaction that was promised, or a life changing opportunity. 

No one knows us better than ourselves.  Sometimes, we just keep telling ourselves that we are happy despite making commitments outside our comfort zone, taking jobs that don’t play to our strengths, cramming too much into our schedule, and/or making everything and everyone else a priority.  Many times, that leads to an underlying unhappiness and a feeling that we are being left behind and potentially unappreciated.   Remember my 20-minute rule!  Simply put, find 20 minutes every day that allows you to focus solely on yourself.

Self-reflection and a regular check-in with yourself can identify things you have learned about yourself – what you like and don’t like.  It enables you to take action one step at a time.  Perhaps, you need to get out of your routine, it might be time for an adventure, take a risk on an idea you have, meet new people, have fun, focus on your health, give yourself permission to say no, or find a job that makes you happy.  Only you know the things that are really important to you and if you are willing to sacrifice your happiness.

Hopefully, you will find time to self-reflect in this world that is anything but normal.  Some questions to ask yourself are: 1) What does success mean to you?  2) What really makes you happy?  3) What makes you unhappy?  4) What are you doing about your mental and physical well-being?  Connecting with your internal spiritual self is powerful and a beautiful way to find true happiness.  I think you will find, as I did, that at the root of any unhappiness in our life is our failure to make those things that make us happy a priority.  Life is too short to keep putting your happiness off until tomorrow!   You can contact me at